Saturday, May 23, 2009

Tolek


He was born in the wrong place at the wrong time. Looking at his life, I constantly wonder what he would have achieved, had he had the opportunities today's generation has.

In 1941 the II World War was raging, as Anatol Benera was born in a tiny little village of Lisięcice.
His parents were very simple people and even if they noticed anything special about their son, they certainly did not have money to support his talents. After the war, they moved to the town of Głubczyce and Tolek began to thrive. The library was his refuge from the mundane life of the small community. He was a voracious reader and soon needed to travel to the nearby city to request new titles. He also started showing musical talents. As a teenager, he taught himself how to play a guitar, which paid off big time when it was time for him to serve in the Polish army (mandatory for 2 years after high school). He was assigned to the army band and enjoyed his military training much more than most privates.

Since high school was as far as Tolek got in school, he didn't have much choice in the work force. He started working for a textile factory in Głubczyce, and that's where he stayed for the next 30 years. But his passions were bigger than the knitting machine he operated. He build a wonderful personal library and a music collection, and as soon as his Goddaughter was born, he devoted himself to passing on his knowledge and talents onto her. Especially after she lost her father at the age of twelve, he became the father figure and teacher to her. From him she learned about the Three Musketeers and 2,000 Leagues Under the Sea. He was the one who introduced her to Elvis, Dolly Parton, and Jimmy Buffet. He loved country music so much that he taught himself enough English to be able to understand the lyrics of American country songs. That knowledge he also passed to his Goddaughter in weekly lessons, on Sunday after church.

Tolek might have been just a blue collar worker by day, but after donning his factory jumpsuit he became the literary critic, musical connoisseur, and a wonderful teacher. His greatest passion though, was photography. He had a keen eye and in the bathtub of his tiny bathroom hundreds of pictures documenting the Communist Poland were developed. He was the family historian, commemorating all the holidays, birthdays, and Sunday afternoon walks. At a time, when not many kids had a single picture of themselves, Tolek's niece and nephew had more than enough. And one of them won Tolek a very special award.

When his Goddaughter was only two years old, he took a picture of her standing next to a tree sapling. He titled the picture "We're growing up together" and entered it in a photography competition. He won on the regional level, then on the district level, and finally on the national level. The prize: a week in Moscow. He was so proud and excited and came back from Moscow with even more wonderful photos. Years later his Goddaughter found out that photography was to her also a wonderful way to express her thoughts and deal with daily reality.

Tolek's love of Elvis was so great that he was willing to spend his last penny on Elvis' records or pictures. In the late 70's, when buying American products was possible only on a so called "black market" in a large city, Tolek's wife sent him to such a market with her two-month earnings, to get two pairs of jeans. Unfortunately, the first booth in the market square was selling records. Tolek came back home with two original Elvis vinyls and was consequently not spoken to for 2 months. He didn't care. To him the records were worth more than anything else he possessed, and he certainly didn't mind wearing old jeans.

Tolek and his wife waited twenty-two years for a baby, and when she was finally born, Tolek hoped she would be everything he could not be. He had great plans to teach her everything he knew and show her all he loved to do. He couldn't wait to read with her, listen to music, and teach her about the world. Things turned out differently than he planned. His daughter grew up under strict supervision of his wife, who was less educated and much more superstitious than Tolek. He was ridiculed for his notions, that a child needs more than pretty clothes and proper friends. The disappointment grew, as the child was getting older and absolutely not interested in following her father's lead. Tolek turned back to his hobbies and resolved to be simply a by-stander in his daughter's upbringing. It had a destructive effect on his marriage and led to an emotional separation between him and his wife.

Tolek is going to be 70-years old next year. he still lives in Głubczyce, listens to music, writes for the local newspaper, and records any cowboy movie shown on Polish TV. He "travels" vicariously through his Goddaughter's travels and collects Elvis memorabilia. He has been talking about opening a small Elvis museum in Głubczyce. If you're ever there, stop by and see him. He'll be happy to see you and tell you all about his life.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Jasia



She is one of the shyest people you'll ever meet. To take her picture you have to be either very fast or really sneaky. To have a conversation with her you have to be family. There is a good reason for it... She was born 64 years ago in a wooden house at the edge of a forest in the south of Poland. No electricity, no running water, dirt instead of floors. The nearest neighbor lived 10 miles away and so her four sisters were the only real friends she had until she became an adult.

She left home at 19 to look for a better life. Heard of a textile company hiring in a town of Głubczyce and got a job as a physical worker. One thing she learned at home was perseverance. She had to convince her father that she could handle both school and working on the farm when he threatened to pull her out of elementary school. She had to walk 3 miles to get to her high school every day. In Głubczyce she was determined to become a designer for her company.
It came as no surprise to those who knew her, that in 2 years after she arrived there, she became a junior designer and several years later the chief designer for the "Unia Textiles."
Jasia married Tolek, her co-worker, in 1965 and the only thing that was missing in their relationship after a couple of years, was children. As adoption was not very common in Poland in those days, Jasia and Tolek decided to enjoy their life together by frequent travel and dotting on their niece and nephew.
Almost exactly 20 years after their wedding day, Jasia found out she was pregnant. The whole family rejoiced for 9 months and prepared extensively for the arrival of the baby. Unfortunately, the incompetence of the Głubczyce hospital staff led to a tragedy. Jasia and Tolek's perfect baby boy died before he was even born due to human error. A black veil of grief enveloped the family. before Jasia even returned from the hospital all evidence of the expected happy arrival was removed from the house and all conversations avoided the topic. Jasia became even more quiet and withdrawn than she has ever been. She missed family events, crossed the street seeing an approaching acquaintance...
Two years later most of the closest family were shocked to discover that Jasia was again pregnant because this time, she did not reveal her pregnancy for 7 months. She was not taking any risks either. Her doctor summoned her to the hospital two weeks before the delivery date and on May 2nd, 1985 Jasia's daughter Małgosia was born. Life took a happy turn.
For the past 24 years Jasia has been a happy and proud mother, pouring all her love and care into her daughter's needs.
She still needs to be coerced into having her picture taken and often complaints that she doesn't deserve a gift she's given, even on her birthday. But she makes the best Polish potato salad on earth and never serves the same cake twice.